Have you heard the people who visit all the NFL stadiums, or collect a complete set of spoons?

How about the ones who absolutely must see a certain famous person before they die. Perhaps visit some holy land, either cultural or religious, for life ‘fulfillment’

People also pursue that Bachelors in Uselessness. Oh, I didn’t say that.

Actually perhaps pursuing something, anything, is better than no ambition at all. It at least gets you in motion and other things along the way might give you actual benefit.

Here’s my list, none of which I actually intend on seeing through.

#1 In 7 years, I want to be living, or visiting Louisville Kentucky
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Solar_eclipse_global_visibility_2017Aug21T.png

#2 I want to be a random background person in a Saturday Night Live skit trying to look cool, like a waiter.
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/hamm-and-buble/1198004/
(bonus SNL skit: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/closet-organizer/1197957/ )

#3 I would like something of mine in a museum anywhere. Hopefully because it is good and not because I vandalized or catastrophically failed.
http://www.missioninnmuseum.com/collect_aviation_lvl3/av00001_lvl3.htm

#4 Become the top search result for ‘3up’ 9th on google and 3rd on bing!
http://www.bing.com/search?q=3up

That’s all for now.

For the past, month perhaps, my state of being has not been particularly communicable. The answer to, ‘how are you’, was often, ‘i dont know’. Then I didn’t really feel I had much of a place to start conversations with other people if I was unable to communicate with myself. I had some moments of automation which did not require the real Sheridan to be uncovered.

I can help people and be functional with work and things without actually being Sheridan. I suppose that is still who I am, but it has become second nature to the point where even if my imaginary dog dies, I can still help you with your boyfriend or explain the projectile motion used in my game. Because I can perform most tasks that I do in a normal week, I have not felt an urgent need to evaluate myself. People who ask how I am doing don’t really need to know. Nor do I. Auto-pilot Sheridan is pretty decent.

I found more and more solace in my foreign language music. When taking a break from kpop or jrock I jumped over to my original non-english love, french dancypop. I was excited for Lost again, a television show that has more things that don’t make sense, than ones that do. And some more music that messes with my head. Breakbeat Trip-hop.

I became fascinated about learning very random topics. Celebrated holidays in Korea including White Day, Green Day, Hug Day; the lunisolar calendar which I can’t really quite grasp how it re-aligns itself; Watching David Blaine explain how he can oxygenate his lungs and then go under water for 17 minutes with a near certain belief he would blackout; a Japanese pop star with a entirely computer generated voice and a green haired anime girl; these make up some of the things on my mind lately.

These things don’t really make sense, nor are they particularly relevant to anything in my life. It is easier to avoid thinking about my state if I keep my brain in a world in which I don’t participate in. I suppose that’s part of the appeal of role playing games, fantasy novels, and hallucinogenetic drugs. But I wouldn’t know from experience. Frankly they scare me.

So ya, brain disconnection. I will leave you with this JRock engrish gem.
“There is the time level that wants to bark at even whom.
I let you sing ’cause there is few it and is good, and send it.”

Knock knock, who’s there? The mailman, the mailman who? The mailman with your mail.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Roses are also white, violets are also.

If an english terrier goes ruff ruff in english, what sound does a japanese terrier make in Japanese? Think about it.

Excuse me, could you close your eyes for about 3 seconds? *rotate 360* All done.

My favorite utensil for eating cereal is a spoon. I strongly recommend it.

What goes around and comes around? Trains are one of many possible answers.

Dyslexic people might read idiot as, i do it. That doesn’t make them idiots, or i-do-its.

(crap I think this last one is actually funny, I’m going to try it.)

If I was a rainbow, I would have a hard time digesting foods.

So, time for another rapid fire shot. I realize… twitter is basically this: a micro blog with a few thoughts here and there. However the twitterverse seems like this overcrowded dollar store. Even though I do use it @threeup I’m not much of a fan. And as you will soon find out, I am feeling verbose about these somewhat boring topics; well beyond 140 characters. (But twitter’s appeal is in brevity which is often best)

Ting Tings live
downloadin
Weather
More Korean TV
Itunes
(more…)

Linguistics is weird, not because I want to know how to form my mouth to make sounds, but because they use crazy names and symbols for things.

A close-mid back unrounded vowel is a type of vowel sound, ɤ, called “ram’s horns” I often wonder who is in charge of unicode, the “alphabet” of crazy letters and characters for many languages and weird uses including making my name look cool: ᴈ ʓ ʒ ɝ ᶔ ₃ ᶚᵘᵖ

Then I learned about the Onge language spoke on the islands of Little Andaman Island. It is an endangered language. And I realize I have no idea where Little Andaman Island or anything Andamanian, so I looked it up and found out it is separated from Rutland Island in Great Andaman by the Duncan Passage. It is home to an underlying rainforest and rare species of marine turtles. India tried to colonize it in the 60s, but gave up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Andaman_Island

Guess what, I still have no idea where it is.

Unicode, and the world, are full of mysteries and it makes me realize how little I know.

in a busy world with tons of places to go and crowds to gather with, there are at least three environments that I feel more familiar and comfortable just by the nature of the place. Even if there is little direct interaction, most humans like being near like-minded people.

My three places are all easy to find in any city, (more…)

I feel that I am half as weird as an extremely weird person. Maybe two-thirds.

I have a recipe for a delicious desert. It takes one pineapple. Cut it. Serve chilled.

I most certainly feel more alive when the sun is down. Why? Insert cheesy vampire reference here.

I see ties in my closet and then after a while I break down and wear one. Keep immorality out of my closet.

I love giant abrupt changes from light things to heavy ones, or vice versa.

I get itchy from my blanket and talk to my future wife before I sleep.

I feel like I seek true hearts, but most people inside are about diamonds spades or clubs. Uhh.. Spades are up arrows, so, worldly success. Clubs are luck, or … violence. Phew, analogy saved.

I still don’t get bored unless I wait for things. The Sheridan brain is sometimes a locomotion machine and sometimes a cyclical perpetual motion machine. Lately more of the latter.

I like words, but realize this is a knowledge barrier thrust upon people I communicate with.

I am twenty five, but don’t want this to be twenty six. Four months to evolve. Luckily, it would be behavioral not biological evolution.

I am Sheridan, this is where I am.

I’m not really in a place to be lengthy in writing.
Hmm. Perhaps I’ve decided I’ve said everything I can about life, or opinions except for little things that are of small consequences. I could word things elegantly as an art form, but there is little to inspire.

Christmas music comes around once a year. Once a year I need that medicine. Perhaps twice.

Having things in order, automated, easy, is the goal of many. But with that goal reached, and free time increased, then you have nowhere to hide from yourself.

I like pineapples, the word and the fruit, but I ate 10% of it and let the rest grow mold. I’m not sure why I don’t open my fridge and go ‘hmm…. pineapple!’. When I do go ‘hmm…’ , it is usually for a sobe pina colada, which, oddly enough has some pineapple flavor.

I jumped on board some jpop(link) /kpop(link)a few months ago and I’ve really not stopped. Embedded is some favorite korean content. Despite being miss certified superfine, Dambi’s appearance only the second reason I like this video. The first: it is quite pleasant and soothing. The third: it’s sad/romantic. The second: she’s very pretty. Oh, ya, I said that.

Son Dambi’s Invisible Person … good title.

I’ve admired some successful people who are absolutely focused on one goal and are at the top of their field. They push through trials and make many sacrifices to get to where they are, combined with raw natural ability.

But do I admire these people now? Umm, not necessarily. Maybe all those sacrifices were bad sacrifices. Is it better to be the number one physicist in the world and divorced, or number eight, with a happy wife?

Is it better to be the king of pop, or the duchess of dutch youtube covers?
Do you really want to be good at one thing and only one thing? Or maybe masterful in two, three four things as in the case of Michael and straight up twisted in so many other things.

Then there are the people who devote themself fully, and come up short. These are the majority but you don’t hear about them. How many people worked just as hard as michael jordan but never even played in a televised basketball game. Tons. They invested so much and could have made even bigger sacrifices, all for what?

There is the tragedy of being a circle also. I’ve tried to become more versatile, learning skills that I’m not normally good at. Drawing for one, and driving for another. Sometimes these versatilities prove to be useful, or expand my horizons. However if I spent an equal amount of time drawing as driving as programming, then I don’t think i’d be good enough to make a living at any of them. Also, if I am in the mix of a large group of people, all the master at a few things, and I can adequately perform the same tasks at a lower rate. Am I important? If something had to be done, then the master would be the best to do it. In baseball, the utility players are often what you describe the bench players since the starters all have a mastered role.

Being average at everything also makes you pretty boring I think. Nobody is enthused by someone with twenty passions. University degrees sometimes try to encourage well-roundedness. But when all is said and done, a single degree has a single subject and single focus. Gone are the days where generalists can tend the farm, build a shack, herd some goats and charm the damsels. Now we value specialists, but when they go too far, who is there to catch them? Do we even care that they fall? How many of us just look for those opportunities to become even better in that one category and who are we to assume we can navigate the narrowing cliff side without disaster?

For others spikes or amoebas might be perfect for them, or lead them to ruin. I try to be a raindrop although …
if (currenttime-time < lately) { setmode(spike); }.
Ya, I went there. Point proved.

An analogy:

Fear is a bad wind. The wind can blow, push you in a direction. Those winds can pick up, and leaves and garbage can be flung at you. If it gets fierce, you could be thrown yourself, or get dragged out to sea, consumed in all directions by a storm. Perhaps it is a tornado that throws you up in the air with the cows and tears your house apart.

So how do you handle fear? Hold on to something tight that is firm and true. Surround yourself with concrete walls or dig yourself an underground bunker. For the strong and wise, fear can have no pushing effect. Just hold on tight. Don’t go sailing into the ocean if you can’t handle fears that come. And they will come.